I stumbled upon some funny things people have said at people's funerals...except T.E. Lawrence said his to a writer before his death.
FAMOUS BRITISH CRIMINAL JACK SHEPPARD:
Sheppard threw himself into a hedonistic whirl of drinking and whoring. Inevitably, his carpentry suffered.
DOC HOLIDAY:
There was something very peculiar about Doc. He was gentlemanly, a good dentist, a friendly man and yet, was a slender, sickly fellow.
CHRISTIAN FLETCHER:
His knees stand a little out and he may be called a little Bowlegged. He is subject to violent perspiration, particularly in his hand, so that he soils anything he handles.
WILLIAM MCCOY:
His life came to a tragic end after liquor and finally ended his life by jumping off a cliff in a drunken frenzy.
T.E. LAWERENCE:
I been & am absurdly over-estimated. There are no supermen & I'm quite ordinary, & will say so whatever the artistic results. In that point I'm one of the few people who tell the truth about myself.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
WHY THE WORLD ISN'T ENDING
Ok...my friend Ross told me about a month ago that the world was going to go to hell in a hand-basket. After Monday (Lehman Brothers & the ML/wall street incidents), Ross called me up and said, "See...I told you. It is starting."
I spent some of the day Monday thinking about this...since I am a post-apoc freak and am very ready to roam the wasteland looking for the scrapes of the past just to get by. Hell...I am actually looking forward to the post-apoc...no more credit card debt, wearing cool outfits like squirrel-skin pants and used hockey equipment. I watched The Road Warrior a hundred times and know the ins-and-outs of scrounging for petrol. So I took what Ross said to heart...maybe this was the beginning of the new world...the reforming of society.
I will say...people seemed scared. All this talk about a global economic fall, that will destroy the financial markets as we know it. But, the more I thought about it the more I realized that this is just paranoid investor bullshit. I am not saying that I am ignorant to the economic woes of the country...I see that we are in hard times. But...a "the world is going to end" situation, it is not. Here is why:
1) For society to truly change you need a fast UNREPAIRABLE event. Money and businesses, although they all do something or make something can be replaced very easily by another. Also the rich of the world...we reinvent the game to stay rich...they always have and always will.
2) Something has to dramatically effect the population within a matter of months...this isn't achieved by economics...this is done by natural disaster, sickness, war, famine, or sudden lack of transportation of food.
3) Also...the "event" that changes everything can't be a...lets see how the government will help. When it happens, it will be so fast and large scale that there won't be enough time to do anything.
4) So...to everyone freaking out, the market will correct itself, it always does. Housing prices will go up and down in cycles for hundreds of years. The fun thing about economics is that the cycles involved tend to work themselves out.
I spent some of the day Monday thinking about this...since I am a post-apoc freak and am very ready to roam the wasteland looking for the scrapes of the past just to get by. Hell...I am actually looking forward to the post-apoc...no more credit card debt, wearing cool outfits like squirrel-skin pants and used hockey equipment. I watched The Road Warrior a hundred times and know the ins-and-outs of scrounging for petrol. So I took what Ross said to heart...maybe this was the beginning of the new world...the reforming of society.
I will say...people seemed scared. All this talk about a global economic fall, that will destroy the financial markets as we know it. But, the more I thought about it the more I realized that this is just paranoid investor bullshit. I am not saying that I am ignorant to the economic woes of the country...I see that we are in hard times. But...a "the world is going to end" situation, it is not. Here is why:
1) For society to truly change you need a fast UNREPAIRABLE event. Money and businesses, although they all do something or make something can be replaced very easily by another. Also the rich of the world...we reinvent the game to stay rich...they always have and always will.
2) Something has to dramatically effect the population within a matter of months...this isn't achieved by economics...this is done by natural disaster, sickness, war, famine, or sudden lack of transportation of food.
3) Also...the "event" that changes everything can't be a...lets see how the government will help. When it happens, it will be so fast and large scale that there won't be enough time to do anything.
4) So...to everyone freaking out, the market will correct itself, it always does. Housing prices will go up and down in cycles for hundreds of years. The fun thing about economics is that the cycles involved tend to work themselves out.
Monday, September 1, 2008
The Real Inventions/Ideas That Advanced Mankind
I was watching TV and they were counting down the greatest inventions/ideas of mankind...stuff that we use everyday, like antibiotics, the printing press, computers, etc. I was thinking today on my way back from Labor Day Activities about the things that were left out...the true gifts to humanity.
1) PROCESSED MEAT:
- This has to be one of the greatest inventions ever. You take useless meat and blend it together...making something that is encases in intestines that everybody eats. Today I had 2 brats and two hot dogs...someone made money (and I enjoyed eating) the leftovers of a meat packing plant.
2) CHILD HARNESS:
-Many parents pretend to be appalled at this invention. Even though the harnesses are cute and disguised as backpacks, some parents pretend to be so above them. I say: DO NOT KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED IT. Shit...I ma use it until the kids are 18.
3) YOUTUBE:
-Where else can you look for video and secretly be hoping for a boob to pop out of a really tasteless episode (look up "Feel Like Bacon Love")
4) PLAY-PENS:
-You know..these were an invention of the 70's...so parents can drink and hang out with friends while the children played in a self-contained area.
5) THE TOPLESS ONLY GENTLEMAN'S CLUB:
-Just not as dirty as the real thing and you can drink...which is nice.
6) VIDEO GAMES THAT LET YOU KILL THINGS:
-Not a big video game fan...and some say it promotes violence...I say a good way to burn off steam without actually killing something.
7) REMOTE CONTROLS:
-I love the fact that when the remote is lost the channel doesn't change...even though I am 5 1/2 feet from the TV.
8) AMBIEN:
-This is some good stuff (do not use on a plane, or anywhere else that showing a bare chest and roaring is considered inappropriate).
9) TIVO/DVR'S:
-If everyone had one there would be no war.
10) THAT COLD-HEAT THING SOLD ON LATE NIGHT TV:
-For $19.99 you can have a device that can fuse metal together and then...moments later, is safe to the touch. These are the people who will invent cold-fusion.
1) PROCESSED MEAT:
- This has to be one of the greatest inventions ever. You take useless meat and blend it together...making something that is encases in intestines that everybody eats. Today I had 2 brats and two hot dogs...someone made money (and I enjoyed eating) the leftovers of a meat packing plant.
2) CHILD HARNESS:
-Many parents pretend to be appalled at this invention. Even though the harnesses are cute and disguised as backpacks, some parents pretend to be so above them. I say: DO NOT KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED IT. Shit...I ma use it until the kids are 18.
3) YOUTUBE:
-Where else can you look for video and secretly be hoping for a boob to pop out of a really tasteless episode (look up "Feel Like Bacon Love")
4) PLAY-PENS:
-You know..these were an invention of the 70's...so parents can drink and hang out with friends while the children played in a self-contained area.
5) THE TOPLESS ONLY GENTLEMAN'S CLUB:
-Just not as dirty as the real thing and you can drink...which is nice.
6) VIDEO GAMES THAT LET YOU KILL THINGS:
-Not a big video game fan...and some say it promotes violence...I say a good way to burn off steam without actually killing something.
7) REMOTE CONTROLS:
-I love the fact that when the remote is lost the channel doesn't change...even though I am 5 1/2 feet from the TV.
8) AMBIEN:
-This is some good stuff (do not use on a plane, or anywhere else that showing a bare chest and roaring is considered inappropriate).
9) TIVO/DVR'S:
-If everyone had one there would be no war.
10) THAT COLD-HEAT THING SOLD ON LATE NIGHT TV:
-For $19.99 you can have a device that can fuse metal together and then...moments later, is safe to the touch. These are the people who will invent cold-fusion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
