Ok...I have been watching EURO 08 and think that I have learned a lot about Europe from watching it. Even if you are not a soccer fan (Mike) you can definitely learn alot from across the Atlantic from watching the tourney.
This is what I have learned:
1) That the Turks are very hairy and seem to piss everyone off...including the announcers because lets face it, most of their country is in Asia.
2) The Dutch tend to come on strong and when it seems like they have it all wrapped up, they choke. By the way...they love the color orange, which is not in their flag....something to do with the royals.
3) The Greeks cry about absolutely everything. I mean come on...are that big of pussies. Shit, this group can't of descended from the people in 300.
4) Every good player seems to be playing in England or Real Madrid. Every player they call up-and-coming plays for the Rangers or Celtic.
5) The Germans and the Austrians almost look like they shouldn't even be on the same field together (perhaps old guilt).
6) The announcers really like to talk about Northern Ireland's run...even though they didn't make it.
7) The Swiss are much better bankers then athletes.
8) The Portuguese seem to not like to play defense...at all. They defended about as well as they did with the Moorish invasion.
9) That Spain doesn't seem to have many fans at the games...maybe they are ashamed at all those naps they take.
10) That Croatians scare me...they look like they can steal a kidney pretty fast.
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The things I learned...
1. The French performed like they were playing Germany in every game if you know what I mean...
2. Poland's best players play for Germany.
3. Germany beats other teams as if the future of the white race depended on it.
4. The Italians come out all tough ready to take on the world, but end up giving up, brushing their greasy hair out of their eyes and eating cats. It's history repeating itself.
5. The Croatians went from no-namers to world-beaters to no-namers in the course of one week.
6. Where's England? Oh yeah, they couldn't beat Macedonia at home, couldn't beat Israel on the road and couldn't hold on for a tie against an already qualified Croatia. They are enjoying the matches from their favorite pubs.
Predictions: I picked Germany before the tourney and I'm sticking with them. Germany over Spain in the finals. Spain will figure out a way to choke.
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